tw: rape

No, I am going to talk about this and you are going to listen

Asexuals often receive rape threats because people believe that asexual-identifying individuals cannot possibly not want to have sex; even though the idea that asexuality is defined by specifically not wanting to have sex is a false one. (And I’ve explained that here) It is for this reason why I am tired of the constant oppression game people like to play with the asexual community. Are we oppressed? Are we not?

It doesn’t matter, all these arguments do is mask the fact that this unacceptable thing is happening. People actually think that “corrective” rape will change someone’s sexual identity. It starts with people asserting your orientation does not exist, and asexuality is not the only orientation to face/to have faced this. Then people assume things about yourself that “made you the way you are.” Then people move into threats territory. Then people move into the actions part. 

There is a real fear even among the asexual community that people who identify as anything other than heterosexual will be harassed and assaulted. They have a reason to be upset and a reason to be afraid, it has happened to many people before. Many people within the asexual community and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole have experienced harassment and assault. 

By denying that asexuals exist despite evidence that they in fact do, solely based on your misconceptions and political agendas that have little to do with our identity, you are perpetuating this dangerous mindset that people who do not fit into your idea of what a human being should be, need to be corrected.

My question to you is why then in situations where asexuals become upset over people harassing them, do asexuals get blamed for sticking up for themselves? Why are we not questioning why people think it’s okay to send rape threats to people who identify as such? Why are we not questioning what their problem is, instead of what ‘our’ problem is?

My right to exist and to be safe should supersede your right to say whatever the hell you want. Your words have consequences and the consequences of them should not result in people like me getting harmed. This is more than about hurt feelings. This is an attack on our entire existence.

You do not belong in our spaces. You need not voice your “opinion” on our orientation, it’s not a debatable topic and it is not a matter of conflicting opinions. The fact that you get defensive when asexuals rightfully become upset when you attack them shows that the problems lie with you and not with them. Furthermore, it is not your job to regulate what the asexual community does or says, that is something people within the community can debate and discuss critically.